just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
