There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
