they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
