the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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