The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Need sex. Gaining weight.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
