I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
