Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
