Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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