I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
