I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
