Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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