Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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