shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
