Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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