Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
