ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
