Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
