one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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