i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
