Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize