I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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