Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i think i just lost a toe
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
