She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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