we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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