I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
