When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
worst night to have a conscience
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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