did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
