i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
