I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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