piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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