Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
