This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
