Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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