I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It all started with a game of naked twister.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize