I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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