glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Found your dick twin last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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