on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
