He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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