What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
this will be a night to untag.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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