Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
