I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
