If i come over, it means nothing
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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