This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
