i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
