The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
