I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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