I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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