I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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