Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
