Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize