yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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