Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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