We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
