Your mouth is God's brothel.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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