Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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