she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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