dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
