Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize