No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
