Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize