Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Small penises have feelings too.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
