i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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