Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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