Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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