We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i drank out of a bidet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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