what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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